New Foods: Faster-foods Breakfasts

So.

I am eating like a not-so-good healthy-and-fitnessy-blogger.  I am eating processed. I am eating quick and easy.  I am eating food that is the equivalent of a stripper - it looks like food, even seems like food when you are in the moment, but it often leaves you unsatisfied and feeling a little dirty when you are done.

But I have chosen to view this week-without-sleep as an opportunity to taste-test all the things I can find in my grocery store.  So here is my abbreviated guide to a week of faster-but-not-fast food (Breakfast edition). 

Note: "Faster" is because I don't have to get off the freeway and sit in line at the fast-food joints.  So far, this new kick has saved me money, calories and time over my usual option of hitting the drivethru.

MorningStar Farms Veggie Sausage, Egg & Cheese Biscuit
Winner overall, and something I will probably keep doing, is the MorningStar Farms Veggie Sausage, Egg & Cheese Biscuit.  Holy fanstastic-ness.  I usually hate the veggie-meat-substitutes, but this one is right on the money. And who knew that a biscuit can go from store-to-freezer-to-microwave-to-WONDERFULNESS?!? When real life begins again on Monday, I am going to the store to buy all of these. These are filling and tasty and have reasonable nutrition stats and are certainly better than stopping in at Starbucks for the overpriced gooey goodness of a bacon gouda sandwich every single morning.

Calories: 270, Fat: 8g, Fiber: 2g, Protein: 10g, Sodium: 600mg

It also meets one of my most important faster-food breakfast requirements - I can eat it in the car.

If I have been eating stripper food all week, this is the one with a heart of gold who is a single mom just doing this to put herself through grad school. 
Other Opinions? Yum Yucky (the bacon version), Fork Fantasy, The Impulsive Buy

HEB Classic Lean Selections Egg, Sausage and Cheese Breakfast Panini
The good part about this one: It really does microwave up with grill marks on it! The bread actually gets toasted in the microwave!.  As a matter of fact, if you overdo it because you know that your microwave is chronically underpowered, you can even end up with a little bit of burnt toast.

The downside (and this is probably just for me) is that it has cinnamon sugar sprinkled in it/on it. I do not like sweet with my savory breakfast foods.  (I also do not like honey ham or other sweet-meats. They are just wrong. I am sorry if you do not agree/acknowledge-this-universal-truth.)

And even though the stats match up admirably with my new-love MorningStar Farms biscuit (and actually beat it on protein!), I wasn't as satisfied for as long with this one.  I definitely had to have my morning yogurt or eat lunch on the early side with this one.

Calories: 240, Fat: 8g , Fiber: 2g , Protein: 14g , Sodium: 500 mg

Also portable! And the other side was a little burnt, but you can see the grill marks on this side.

I honestly do not know enough about strippers to find the appropriate analogy for this one. I assume this is  the pretty but not exceptional stripper who doesn't have a heart of gold, but isn't exactly old and jaded. 
Other Opinions? Good luck finding some...

Lean Pockets Applewood Smoked Bacon, Egg & Cheese

This was the one I grabbed assuming that a LeanPocket breakfast sandwich wouldn't be good enough.  See, years ago I tried some LeanPockets breakfast sandwiches and they were tasty buy waaaaaaaaaay too small.  So when I got these, I knew that I would probably consume more calories than expected because I would eat one at home, then end up nuking another one at work. 

But things have changed, and I was wrong! Happily so! I didn't take a picture because I thought I'd get one of the one I made at my desk, but since I didn't need it, you just get stock photos from the interwebs. 

Overall, pretty tasty.  Again, it had some flavors that are not my favorite.  I like bacon, but I have been spoiled by the amazing turkey bacon from Applegate Farms when I actually take the time to cook my own food. So no frozen breakfast sandwich will ever really satisfy. And generally, I prefer breakfast sausage. (Weird that I really loved the veggie biscuit, isn't it?)  But the bread of the pocket thingy was great - crispy but not tough - (I know, right?!) and it met that absolute necessity - it's super portable.  Even the crisper sleeve is designed to be torn away so you can still hold it while it's hot, but not burn yourself!

Calories: 260, Fat: 99g, Fiber: 2g , Protein: 12g, Sodium: 480mg

Again, I think this is your standard, run-of-the-mill stripper.  Not as pretty as the HEB one, but she's got some moves.
Other Opinions? Put Down the Donut

Jimmy Dean D-Lights Breakfast Bowl: Turkey Sausage

I know, you are thinking, "But wait, a breakfast bowl is not portable!" And you are correct.  But I figured I had to try at least one sit-down faster-food breakfast.  I have had the D-Lights sandwiches and have never figured out how to get one to come out of the microwave in a way that is not too tough on one end and frozen on the other.  I thought the bowl would be a better bet and I could just suck up the 5 minutes it takes to eat.

This tasted fine, but was pretty lackluster to me. As much as I didn't like the too-many-flavors-including-sugar in the panini, this one went too far in the opposite direction.  It needs some type of flavoring or herbs or just more cheesy goodness.  It was a bowl of bland.

So bland I forgot to take a picture again. Ooops.  Pleasetoenjoy a stock photo.

One reviewer recommended adding in some pepper, and that would help, but with one strike against it already (portability), having to doctor up my faster-food just isn't what I'm looking for this week.

The upside though is that with all that protein, I was very full for a very small total calorie consumption.  I did need a snack later, but a bit of presliced fruit tided me over nicely (and filled out my fiber requirements).  The sodium content on this is a bit of a wallop though, at least compared to my other options.

Calories: 230 , Fat: 7g ,Fiber: 2g , Protein: 23g , Sodium: 700mg

I am having a hard time maintaining the stripper analogy here.  This one doesn't really fit in with the others - not as convenient.  And it doesn't stand out.  Maybe this is like the waitress at the strip joint.  She's just not the star of the show, but she's there.
Other Opinions? I{Ate}A{Pie}, Tasty Lies (bacon version)

There you have it folks.  A week of not-the-worst, not-the-best faster food breakfast options.  And stripper analogies.  I do feel a little greasy after this week of processed food and am looking forward to having time to make and eat real foods next week.

But I have fallen in love with the MorningStar Farms biscuit and will probably rescue her from the grocery freezer and take her home to live with me in the suburbs, happily ever after.

What do YOU reach for when you are in a rush in the morning? Can you tell that I'm exhausted and have lost the filter that usually prevents stripper analogies?